the speed of connection

Given what I do for a living my job is to connect with people. To help them move beyond their head and into their heart. It's not always easy and it also has a lot to do with my own ability to move from head to heart. Because you can only take someone someplace you've gone yourself and are willing to go again. As I think about this I realize that everyone "connects" at a different speed. Some people open right up, allow themselves to experience vulnerability straight out. Others hold back and it's like the onion effect, you slowly watch as they peel back one layer after another until you finally can see into their core.

I think I used to be more of an onion. It probably varied based on who I was speaking with and what the situation was but I was definitely more guarded at the onset. And what I've come to realize is that being a coach has helped me be not just more present and able to hold space and connect with others quite easily but it's allowed me to mirror that back in my personal relationships. Where I recently noticed it most is when I'm dating. The "old me" would be quite guarded and even skeptical of the situation causing me to hold back quite a bit and not really be present in what that moment was - whether it be a first date, a blind date or any other kind of date. And more recently I realized that I've grown out of that shell. That today I have a better understanding of who I am to such an incredible degree and I'm so confident in that which made me realize what's the point in holding back or not revealing. After all if the point in dating is to find the person that loves you for exactly who you are and you love them back for those same reasons then why wouldn't you reveal your whole self right from the start?

So as I continue along this journey called life, and make ongoing stops along the "dating avenue", I remind myself to ensure I'm bringing my whole self to the situation and ensure that I'm always present and able to see and recognize when someone is bringing their whole self as well (and perhaps even more importantly...when they are not).