a reflection of change

As part of my coaching program though the Hudson Institute we have to complete a "learning portfolio" which encompasses our learnings across 8 main areas from the last 8 months. It's a lot. But what a way to reflect back on all that I've been drinking in--pretty powerful. And in flashing back through the last eight months, it's hard to not flash back a bit further to the last 2-3 years. As I look to focus my coaching practice toward those in transition or people who are looking to create changes in their lives, I can't help but consider all the change I've been through.

February of 2009: I decide I want to move to LA, July of 2009: I quit my awesome job in Phila and sold my incredible condo in downtown Phila, August of 2009: I find myself a new apartment 4 blocks from the beach in sunny Santa Monica, September 2009: I say goodbye for now to my friends and family and ship all of my stuff across the country, October 2009: I start a new job, January 2010: My mom gets diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, February 2010: My mom never makes it home from the hospital, she's gone forever, March 2010: I return to LA & start therapy, May 2010: I leave my job--I need time to process what's happened, October 2010: I get a new job in advg but feel far from heeled, February 2011: one year after my incredible loss, a feel a slight sense of turning a corner, June 2011: I finish therapy, I'm feeling ready to look forward not back, August 2011: I discover my purpose--I'm meant to be a coach, September 2011: I sign up with the Hudson Institute, October 2011: I start an intense 8 month coaching program, November 2011: I realize I'm beyond miserable at my job and life is too short to live this way, December 2011: I quit my last job in advertising, January 2012: I launch my own business: ostrich coaching + consulting, Today: I'm one month from completing my certification and my business is steadily growing. I feel better than I have in many, many years.

WOW, deep breath, exhale. That's a lot. And as I would say to someone who's been through this who was my client--honor yourself. You've been though a lot of change. So this led me to want to capture some of my core pillars of going through change in my "learning journal" as part of my learning portfolio. So below I leave with what I've found over the last months and years that's helped (not specific to the grieving aspect but very specific to change and transition overall):

• Invite Support: There are highs and lows—good days and hard days. The key to managing the tough days is remember you’re not alone. Talk to people who get it, who you trust, who will listen. Allow the dialogue to help you sort out the root of your anxiety, think about ways to get out in front it. Talking it though and putting some plans in place help to keep the good days coming.

• Vision: Keep the vision front and center. Be clear on what you’re working toward and never lose sight of it.

• Journaling: Journal about the journey – not only to get some of the thoughts out from your head to free space up in there but also to be able to reflect back later. You never know where a good idea could spark and if nothing else, you’ll remind yourself how resourceful you are, how hard you’ve worked and that each day you’re closer to your vision

• Plan for the positive outcome: It’s ok to prepare for the worse case scenario or to give that some thought so you’re not caught off guard but don’t go into things with a plan around the worst case—go in with the outcome you want and stay committed to that. It might actually go that way!

• Focus on the Strengths: It’s hard to be a beginner again. Be open to the feedback, look at everything as good practice. But also make time to hear the good stuff—the compliments, the strengths. Focus on those to help you build and grow and to keep your confidence up.

• Big Picture/Small Steps: Have a clear sense of the big picture but then break it down in manageable chunks—little steps. Week by week, what needs to happen, what are your goals, etc. Don’t get overwhelmed by thinking about doing all of it, keep it one step/goal at a time and every so often, step back and look at things in the broader perspective and see what you are. Adjust accordingly.

• Enjoy the Ride: The unknowns of change and life overall can be scary and as a result stressful. But if you can remember to enjoy the ride, cut yourself some slack, celebrate the little wins and enjoy the journey while you’re headed toward the destination that will make it a whole lot less stressful and much more fun! Go do something you love today!