in sickness and in health, there's LIFE.

Today marks 4 years since the worst day of my life, the day that my mom died. Each calendar year I prepare for the memories of what were the most awful 6 weeks of my life - her diagnosis on January 8 2010 to her death on Feb 13 and her funeral on Feb 15 2010. Each year I allow myself time and space to reflect, particularly on the 13th, and to remember mom --all that she was and all that she taught me.

This year as luck would have it I had an extra layer of emotion to work through. After getting my annual OBGYN check up earlier this week, my Dr said she thought she felt a lump in my left breast. While scary for anyone to hear at any moment in time, this was something that was extremely triggering for me especially given the week that it is. So that led to me finding the fastest way to an appointment to get a mammogram and ultrasound - and that happened to be today, Feb 13th at 9:30am.

THANK GOD ten times over they said everything looks completely fine. They did confirm with the type of breasts I have ("dense" for all your women, this is a key word) I should have careful screenings and often it's recommended to go beyond just the mammogram and also do the ultra sound. So I did it all at UCLA Women's Breast Center today and the best part is they tell you before you leave what your results are. I feel literally like I got my life back. And what's crazy is I already feel so hyper aware of how precious life is, but somehow after this personal scare, it made me even more grateful for what I have and even more dedicated to ensuring I live the life I want -- because we truly never know when we're gonna wake up and it's gone.

So with that I came home and wrote in my journal of letters to mom telling her about this experience and how much I miss her and also telling her that I want to make sure I start writing down the things I'd like to do in my lifetime. Not necessarily all this year or with a time limit but to be aware of the top of mind things that I know are meaningful to me. So here's what I've come up with so far and I thought I'd share it here with you:

* Fall in love, the forever kind
* Drive across the US
* Top 3 global pics: Spain, Greece, and Paris (again)
* Have a tropical escape at Kauai Hawaii
* Swim in the ocean without fear
* Skydive
* Learn to paddle board
* Own a beautiful home with a yard that's built for dogs and entertaining friends

What's on your life list? And more importantly - are you making room in your life for these things to happen?