some words of wisdom

Last week I had the pleasure of attending my coaching school, The Hudson Institute, annual conference. 200 coaches showed up strong and as always the promise of community was abundant. But this was unlike any year before it and any year that will follow. Because this year, 2015, was the year that we lost one of the greats - the founder of the Hudson Institute, Frederic M Hudson, PhD. I never had the pleasure of knowing Frederic but I know I certainly learned from him through this books and wisdom that was passed on to the many coaches that lead the program today. Most specifically, his wife and the now head of the Hudson Institute, Pamela McLean. I had the honor and pleasure of studying under Pamela - she's as wise, effortless and articulate in her coaching approach as she is the explanation of the craft.

Only this year Pam showed up differently. First and foremost because she is grieving, having only lost Frederic months before. Yet this year she chose to include us, the community, in her sorrow - she showed up vulnerable and let us into not just what she was feeling in that moment but what the last 15 years had been like watching Frederic constantly re-invent himself as the horrible disease of Alzheimer's took more and more from the man he once was. She stood strong as she addressed all 200 coaches in her opening ceremony to kick us off. Her her tears were moving, her memories touching, her vulnerability contagious and last but not least her closing words were incredibly powerful. To summarize how she made it through the long painful journey of Alzheimer's over those 15 years she shared some stories and ultimately summarized 4 core things as the things that she learned along this journey. I was so incredibly moved by the simplicity yet power of these sentiments I wanted to share them here with you.

Why me?
A useless question Pam shared, as we all go through things in life. Instead of asking why me, lean into it, be present, and recognize it's all part of life.

Patience + Presence = Pure Love
This represents the ultimate connection.

Small gestures matter
They make all the different in our lives and our relationships - remember to reach out to others.

Grace and Patience are worth cultivating
Life is all about how we treat each other - learn how to linger a bit longer with yourself, take time to slow down and connect with others, and remember the person who's driving slow or fumbling for their wallet in the store or walking too slow - they may not have their health. How can you cultivate grace and patience?


Patience is something that has never been a strong suit of mine and presence is something I often lose sight of when I let my mind run away with future scenarios. There's something in my life right now that requires me to be both patient and present and after hearing Pam's wise words I have no doubt that combination will generate pure love. So thanks for that insight Pam - you gave me just the wisdom I may not have realized I needed but I sure knew it when I heard it.

Here's to Frederic - one of the greats. And here's to life - cherish it as you never quite know how or when it will end.