creating a new connection

As a teacher and student of grief I'm well aware of the various aspects of the journey. I hesitate to call them stages as that can suggest a linear process and anyone who's been through grief knows it's far from linear - you move through one stage and before you know it you could be back at that very place days, months or years later. The best articulation of moving through this process is articulated on my website here. And the phase where you reach "connect - creating a new connection" well unlike the rest of the phases this one typically comes when you're pretty far into your grief. When you're at a place where you've accepted and adapted to your person being gone from your life and in doing so you've been able to form a new connection with them. You've created a new sense of meaning for the relationship you now have with that person. You may find ways to honor them, memorialize them, set new traditions etc.

On March 22nd 2015 myself, my siblings and their kids formed a new connection to my mom / their nanaleen by participating in a Colon Cancer 5K. We set out to create awareness, raise money and most of all remember the wonderful woman that my mom, Kate Ostrich, was to all of us. We invited all of those who loved her, who still think of her each day and who share in the desire to ensure others don't go through what we all went through, and most of all what Kate went through. If only my mom had gotten any of the colonoscopies that her Doctors had prescribed and she'd likely still be here today. That thought tears me up inside - so much so that I've had to let that go as it's in the past and it's not serving me to focus on that. But what it can serve is the time, energy, focus and love I put toward ensuring no one else has the experience that I did. That no one else loses their loved one to a disease that should be able to be caught and treated in enough time to still allow them much more of life. Something I'll never get back with my mom. Something I'll forever regret.

So to do my mother proud, to honor her in a way that she so deserves, we formed a team called the Ostrich Flock and all 11 of us took the streets of Philadelphia on an exceptionally chilly March morning to raise awareness for Colon Cancer in the Get Your Rear in Gear 5K. In the weeks leading up to the event we reached out to our family friends and colleagues and were completely blown away by the support and generosity. In the six weeks leading up to our 5k we raised over $3,300 dollars toward Colon Cancer. And in doing so we reached over 100 people with our message. We encouraged everyone and anyone to encourage their loved ones who are 50 and over to go get their rear in gear - get checked for colon cancer. It's among the most preventative forms of cancer so we must take control of own lives and of those who are near and dear to us. My family is forever committed to doing what our mom never did. And we hope that you will be too.

The kids rocked it, two miles strong in 32 degrees, and us adults were incredibly inspired by the day, the folks that we walked alongside who each had their own story of life and loss. And we couldn't help but talk about mom, and how very humbled she would've been to know we were among 4,000 people in that race walking in her honor. And that the Ostrich Flock was the 10th leading team for most dollars raised and that my own network helped me raise enough money to come in second place overall for individual adult contributor. Wow - talk about feeling loved and supported.

So if you were one of those people - thank you, again. And if you weren't no worries whatesoever - what you can do to move me even more is ensure you keep your rear in gear. Please. For me, and most of all for the memory of the most incredible woman I have ever known, a woman I am incredibly grateful to have called mom for 33 years, my mom Kate.