creating a shift.

It really is amazing how you can shift your thoughts and as a result shift your mood or demeanor. While I'm a big believer in leaning into discomfort or pain as that's truly the only way to move through it vs just trying to move past it, it's also important to recognize when you're stuck in your own thought pattern that's become unhealthy and is no longer helping you move forward but instead keeping you stuck. Or maybe even more accurately it's like you're in quick sand because you are spiraling deeper and deeper when you let your negative thoughts take over.

So how do you re-route and find your way to a better place? Well I've been doing a bit of this lately and I know it's something that most of my clients and most people I know deal with at some time or another so I thought I'd capture what I've been doing. I hope this helps you through a negative spiral...

Start with gratitude
You've heard me say this before but doing a gratitude practice can be incredibly powerful and uplifting. A few ideas for how to do this and build up your positive muscle in the meantime include:
* send one email each day to someone giving them positive feedback, complementing them or letting them know why you're grateful for them

* keep a daily log and write down the best part of your day - every single day for at least 30 days but ideally longer!

* keep a daily log and write down 3 things a day you're grateful for - from that day or in general - again each day for at least 30 days.

Connect + get social
I know - when you're in this space it's the last thing you might feel like doing but I can assure you that being alone and going into isolation or hiding even when you don't intend to is the worst thing for you. What we all need when we're in our worst moments is support and connection. We are hard wired for connection - it's how we're built, it's what makes us tick. When you cut yourself off from it it's like cutting off your blood supply. So get social - whatever that means to you. Reach out, call a friend, make plans even if it's just a coffee with someone to get out of the house or away from work. Or get real social and join a group or get yourself involved in something you love - like me, I just joined a flag football team :)

Find an outlet
Most of the time when we don't feel great or our head is bouncing around a bunch of not so nice thoughts we tend to want to numb those. Whether it be with food, alcohol, TV, or for some people it's even exercise in excessive amount. The trouble is, that's getting you no further from those thoughts - they will keep coming back up even if you quiet them for a bit. So instead find yourself an outlet, like journaling, or therapy or coaching. Know what support you need to work your way through your thoughts and seek that out. What's incredible about journaling (aside from being free) is it allows you to 1) capture your thoughts so they are there to reflect back on as needed and 2) they move from your head to the paper allowing more space and room in your mind for healthy, positive thoughts to find their way in. Therapy or coaching can work in a similar way - allowing yourself an outlet to speak out loud about where you're stuck is incredibly valuable. You may even find you write or talk your way thought it and you'll be done with it then. And that's a great feeling!

I hope one or all of these are things you're willing and open to trying as I'd love to hear how it goes. I'd also love to hear what you do when you're stuck in a tough space so please share!