happy july.

Here we are on America's birthday, 4th of July, and I'm living among some of the most proud Americans - Texans! As I relax on my porch before meeting up with friends to celebrate I can't help but reflect on the month of July. I think because my birthday falls in July and perhaps because it falls mid way through the year (and mid way through the Summer) it causes me to often pause and reflect. And it seems I'm often in some sort of transition when it comes to the month of July.

Last year (2014) I was lying by the W hotel pool in Austin when I declared for myself that I would not turn my next age, 39, in LA. That was I giving myself 1 year to move to a new city and that ultimately became Austin.

The year before that (2013) I was 1.5 years into my business, struggling a lot, and also struggling with dating after having fallen hard for a guy I just couldn't quite let go of.

The year before that (2012) I was moving into my new apartment in LA and getting approved to adopt a dog - and on July 17th Koko entered my world and changed my life permanently for the better.

The year before that (2011) I was finally accepting that I was miserable in my career and job at the time and was starting to explore alternate options through conversations and opening my mind to what my strengths and passions have always been.

The year before that (2010) I was just attempting to date after only 4 months of losing my mom and still being very much steeped in grief but I remember meeting someone who I thought my mom sent me and wound up having in my life through my entire time in LA.

And the year before that (2009) I was preparing for my move to LA in September and was celebrating what I had no way of knowing would be my last and final birthday celebration with my mom, my 33rd birthday, when she gave me her gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring and told me she wanted to see me wear her things while she was alive and healthy on this earth. Crazy when I replay that conversation.

So here we are in July 2015 and I'm six months in my new city and checking in with myself. I'm so incredibly grateful for having made it through all of the transitions I speak to above and yet I find myself feeling like I'm in the midst of one yet again. It's a combination of trying to settle into a new city by building a sense of community, making all new friends and dating while trying to get over someone who left quite an impression on me but is unable to be in my life. I'm also 3.5 years into my business and realizing there really isn't a time when you get to pull your foot off the gas...that no matter how much last year seemed to be my breakout year I need to work every bit as hard this year to bring in the income I need to survive (and pay off my damn 2014 taxes!). I guess I'm realizing, even though I know this in the broad sense, that life is always in a constant state of change and transition. And it's how we move through those transitions that define us - almost less about the choices me make and more about our ability to live those choices while staying true to ourselves.

So a good reminder to myself as I work my way through this July and my final birthday of my 30s to stay true to me and what I know best about moving through transitions - stay close to those who you love and who support you, do things that make you happy, and probably more than anything - trust the process. I am right where I'm suppose to be and in time it will all make sense. Just like how each of the transitions over the last six years have led me to exactly where I am.

So, here's to America and here's to life, here's to change and here's to you and me. Happy 4th of july!