living without

Today is Yom Kippur and I've cleared my calendar and I'm embracing the meaning of the holiday. To fast from food and beverage, to rest, to cleanse and atone for your sins, to forgive, to reflect and to sacrifice or live without for a 24 hour period. This year in Austin I don't have a service to attend (I could but they are pricy and I don't want to spend the money) nor do I even have anyone to break the fast with (other than Koko who is not fasting :) so I'm choosing to the embrace the day and theme of 'living without' by spending it alone with myself and my own thoughts.

The thought of living without is also striking a cord with me and where I am personally at the moment. I'm looking to strike a better balance in my life in some areas and realizing sometimes in order to find that balance you need to go to one extreme or the other to then find the happy medium. In doing so it makes you realize what you really NEED in life vs the things you WANT. While of course we have some basic needs like food, shelter, water, and sleep, our minds have a way of making us feel we need more than that. What I'm being reminded of today as I look at the clock at 10:45am and realize I barely ate dinner last night so no wonder my stomach is growling and how will I make it to sundown, I'm reminded what it means to want vs need. I'm also reminded of what it's like to sit in struggle and find your way through it. In order to do so successfully where you come out the other side in a more resilient, stronger place, you really only need one thing: the ability to be one with yourself. And to be one with yourself you have to love yourself.

I realize how grateful I am that today I can say I'm going to be completely alone and find peace in that process as I reflect on the meaning and spirit of this holiday. I'm going to take care of myself as I do it by resting and turning off any distractions. I'm going to focus on reflection and on things that matter and are meaningful to me. I'm going to forgive anything that needs to be forgiven and I'm going to allow gratitude to wash over me. Gratitude that each day I don't have to feel what it feels like to struggle and sacrifice. That for the most part I'm at peace with my life because I know that I've worked hard at creating a life I love and loving myself through that process. Gratitude that I've learned how to love myself through the realization that at the end of the day all we really, truly have is ourselves. Our bodies and minds have been given to us as the capsule to hold our soul which moves us through this incredibly amazing journey called life. If we can't take care of the very thing that's responsible for transporting us on the only ride we'll ever take then what else is there, really?

So today I invite you to join me in this spiritual place and ponder your own needs and wants. Consider how much of those things are externally driven vs internally. Consider how if you could love yourself half as much as the amount of love you crave from others how that could completely change your life. Lastly, spend some time with yourself today and in that time, love yourself like you love your child, or your best friend, or your spouse, or your parent. Care for you how you care for others and allow yourself to fill every need you could ever have purely by being one with yourself.