sometimes small is better

As I'm doing more and more work coaching people -- whether it be 1:1 or in a leadership workshop setting, I see many of the same themes and questions come up for people. And one is centered around what I'll call being stuck in the spiral of can't..., not enough..., not the right..., etc. And while we all fall into the trap of pointing out all the things that can't happen, in order to accomplish anything we need to look at what can happen. This is a critical shift in the way we think -- from what's not possible, to what's possible. And in involves having a vision.

So when you're feeling stuck or frustrated by something -- ask yourself a few questions:

1. what do I want to be different? (this creates clarity and establishes your goal)

2. why? (this tells you how it important it is to you and drives motivation)

3. what can I (yes you!) do differently -- even if you can only identify one idea or one small thing, write that down. (this begins your plan for change)

The fact is, we can only control ourselves, despite how much we like to believe we can control others (and try to!) or entire situations, we can't. We can only control ourselves and in doing that, potentially control the outcome to be what we want it to be. Or at least closer. And while at first glance this may feel overwhelming -- to consider something big that you want to be different and then think -- well how am I ever going to do that? Chances are you know how to do it, but it's just overwhelming or scary or takes time and effort and those are all great excuses for not doing it.

So that's where SMALL is better. Think about it in the smallest of steps. Tiny little steps, one after the next. This of course is after you've answered the first two questions and have clarity around what you're looking to change/what you're marching toward. Then you can map out all the steps to get there -- and there may be lots. But your job is to only tackle one at a time. So if there's that big project you're dreading at work, make step one to just think about it for an hour, to block time on your schedule to map out an outline, a timeline, a plan of sorts. Then next find another hour to do what's next on the plan, etc etc. And before you know it, it's halfway done and you're feeling great.

Why are you feeling great? Because it's proven that progress is one of the main things that drives our happiness -- the simple idea of forward momentum / progress can fuel so much of our positive energy. And it's when the progress stops and we're not taking any steps forward that we get stagnant and feel stuck and as a result, feel a lot less happy.

So, try it out. Think about something you're trying to shift, change or tackle in your life. And let me know how it goes, if/where you get stuck and of course let me know where you're successful -- b/c the best part of the small steps is there are lots of small WINS, and it's just as important to celebrate each of those.

Ready, set, go!