finding gray

Something I've known about myself but often forget until I step back and recognize it is that I tend to see situations as black or white / one end of the spectrum or the other vs somewhere in the middle. I think lots of people probably do this as I know with my clients my job as coach is to help them see where there might be a third alternative when they only can see two. Yet when it comes to me and my life I tend to see some things (or approach some things) as all in or nothing at all.

One example of all or nothing is around what level of effort I put toward things vs just letting them happen. The coach in me and the relentless ambitious side of me likes to set goals and to achieve them -- to be "all in." Yet the wise, instinctual side of me also recognizes that sometimes you just have to detach from the outcome and let the universe show you the way -- believe that this is something bigger at play and even though we can't see it just yet to trust that everything will work out with the way that it's meant to -- so sometimes we need to just let go or "do nothing."

I'm not sure either end of that example feels quite right to me -- the "all in" strategy hasn't necessarily been effective when it comes to say dating yet the "do nothing / let go" also feels counter to who I am because I believe if you want something you have the power to impact your desired outcome. But in the case of dating I'm not sure that's the case -- it's certainly not been effective for me. So I'm left feeling like I need to find gray / the happy medium and learn how to see things less about either or and just as they are. And that reminds me of the power of now and just needing to see today for what it is, be in it and celebrate what each day brings. Then it's about trusting that one day it will be the day that brings me whatever it is that I've been waiting for.

What's a mindset that you need to shift in an effort to free you from your mind?