i'm baaaaaccccccckkkkkk!

Something miraculous happened to me while I was away doing the Hoffman Process - my spirit came back to life. I think I had an understanding of who my spirit self was - the truest form of who we are - yet what I didn't realize is how far gone she was. Somewhere between getting lost in the life I thought I was supposed to have not panning out, to losing my mom - who I now understand I had a complex relationship of enmeshment with so losing her was well BEYOND the "typical grief" others feel, to then launching a business and building a new life and career 100% from scratch to then having some bad breaks in my heart - I became a shadow of myself. I got lost in the grind of it all and stopped feeling all the amazing wonderful positive feelings that life has to offer. I was in survival mode and sometimes when you're just head down trying to get through it, you forget to look up and enjoy the view. Or better yet, allow your body to feel what it's like to enjoy the view. Everything felt hard, intense, pressure driven, and heavy. With that came lots of feelings of worry, doubt, over-analysis, questions, and as a result often lack of clarity. I was worried about loving others and not worrying nearly enough about loving and taking care of myself.

But now, with my spirit back in the lead and me listening to my intuition and trusting it to guide me through each day without getting too far away from myself or from the moment, I feel SO much better. Life is lighter, much much lighter, it's brighter, it's FUN, it's a lot less worry and anxiety and instead it's a lot of laughs, intimacy, and connection. Far better world.

I choose this.

Now that I clearly can see what happens when I get away from myself and I allow the darkness to not just creep in but take over, I now am very clear on what that feels like. Versus when I choose the light, when I choose love, when I choose connection. When I allow my sense of humor to lead me, my sensual side to be felt, and my dance moves to be abundant. I feel alive in such an incredibly meaningful way - I almost can't even put words to it.

So here's to being back among the living, to feeling like my best self and most importantly to doing whatever is necessary to remain here. No going back.

What brings you to life? What makes you feel INCREDIBLE? Are you doing enough of it?