what's your story?

I'll admit, as a new business owner, a solo practitioner (in every sense of the word solo) and someone who's only 9 months into my start up, there are tough days. Days when it's hard to not feel discouraged by the excessive amount of effort you're putting forth to educate, network, communicate and impress and the lack of response, reward or return. Today is one of those days. So as I've been trained to do (and rewarded by doing so) I've gone inward to ask myself -- why does today feel particularly hard?

And while I was journaling, I realized my entire life my Dad instilled in me the value of hard work and how that (and nothing else) will earn you money. And with money comes security (and while he didn't teach this part, society leads up to believe happiness comes along with that too). And so off I went into the world, starting at age 13, working hard, always ensuring a solid work ethic and never giving less than 110% no matter what I was doing. I earned money along the way and was quite happy by this. And I was motivated as well -- so in my career I was always the one receiving the bonus or the raise. I truly experienced what my Dad taught me -- hard work earns you money. Until one day the money wasn't enough, and I wasn't happy.

So that led me to where I am today. But the difference is, I'm working just as hard and putting just as much into it but I'm not seeing the same "reward" -- I'm not getting the guaranteed paycheck or raise or bonus that I've been used to getting since I was 13. No, this time, I may work just as hard, or even harder, and there's no telling when and if I'll see a financial gain. And so at times, it's tough to not feel like I'm failing. And I know that's crazy, b/c I know I'm going to succeed so that's caused me to pause and ask myself what's driving those thoughts?

Well, we all have stories and beliefs that often go way back to our childhood, like mine. And so if the story I've told myself for over 30 years is that money is what reflects how hard you work and how good of a job you're doing -- well then you can imagine I might feel kinda crapy that I'm barely making money but yet I'm working my a** off. And that's when I realized that belief is still with me deep down inside and it's something I still need to manage within myself. But I've come far because what I also realized is I haven't been this happy in my life in I seriously don't know how long. My life feels so complete in so many ways and so on purpose -- and I don't have $1 extra dollar to spend. But that doesn't matter.

So I'm here to remind myself that the old story of money is the result of hard work and the source of happiness just isn't the case. And the more I focus on what truly is feeding my happiness -- the purposeful work I'm doing, the difference i'm making, the more focused I'll remain. And in time, I believe the rest (including the money) will follow -- I just have to keep my eye on the prize.

What story or beliefs are you holding onto that might be keeping you from pursuing a dream or having a relationship you want or stopping you from that tiny step forward?