love.

I've been spending a good bit of time thinking about love and who we find ourselves attracted to romantically or even connected to in other relationships. And as I share the following quote with others it proves to be very thought-provoking so I wanted to share it here. Someone very wise once said to me "until you know who you are you will only ever seek out the love that you know vs the love that you need and deserve." What does that mean exactly? It means that we were all introduced to the concept of love as children and grew up with an understanding of what that was and felt like from our family unit. And whether we ever have connected the dots before or not, it's shaped how we seek love in our lives today.

Typically we pursue things that feel familiar, that are comfortable, which often means safe. It's just human nature to seek this out. And so if you find a love that feels familiar from early on in your existence, that will likely feel safe...but the reality is it could be the furthest from what you actually need. And the only way to know, is to really know who you are. You've read on my blog before the simple (yet not always easy) questions of: 1) who are you and 2) what do you want. Seeking real clarity around those answers is the first step to attracting the type of love and relationships that you need vs the love you know.

Once I wrapped my head around this concept in my own life it explained A LOT. And because I've been on my own journey of self discovery throughout this entire blog, I feel closer and closer every day to knowing what it is I need vs what it is I know. And the truth is, when I think back upon my early days -- I have a mix of different types of love from the different parental units. And while it's been a life long lesson that only recently has become very clear for me (mostly b/c I'm more clear than ever on who I am), I now know the love that I want to seek and the love that I don't based on how I've been loved. And with that clarity, it's made my experience in meeting people very enlightening. Because the moment I recognize and can see the love that I want to hold onto, the love that I need and deserve, it's pretty powerful...and far more rewarding than many previous relationships that were centered much more around the love that I've come to learn is best I leave behind. Because sometimes even when something feels familiar, it's not always worth repeating.

Consider your own relationships, how many have been focused on the love that you know from your past vs the love that you truly need to fulfill you?