one year countdown

Yesterday I celebrated my 38th birthday - crazy. It was a pretty chill day but quite lovely - I enjoyed every moment of it indulging in things I love and spending it with my 4-legged boy and my best gal here in LA. Each time a birthday passes I can't help but consider where I am in life, how I'm feeling about it and what I'd like for myself by the time the next birthday rolls around. And this year I arrived at a rather big conclusion for what will be my next birthday, big 'ol 39.

I decided I will not be living in Los Angeles when I turn 39.

Yup, crazy I know, as for the last five years I've done nothing but convince my family and friends that this is the greatest place in the world to live and that's why I continue to be so many thousands of miles away from them. And that's all very true but the reality is, it's been QUITE a journey these last five years in LA. And I'm not the same person. I've been put through the ringer and spit back out as a person who's learned how to adapt, adjust and rebuild. And now that I've managed to do that, and not just "do it" but build a life that's made me HAPPIER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN I can't help but see the pieces that I still want, and then ask myself - is LA still the best place for me?

The answer to that question (which I've honestly been pondering for the last year or so) only recently became very clear to me and it's a no. Not an impossible no, but an instinctual no. So that leads me to ask myself - well then where is the place? The obvious choice given how my business is truly taking off there is San Francisco. However, it's one of the few places that's actually A LOT more expensive than Los Angeles. And I'm not sure at this stage in my life when I'm finally getting to a place of profit with my business that I want to take on more expense with a long term plan that is likely to lead to where I am here - a home with a yard being next to impossible to afford. So that makes me consider other smaller cities that are west, because I've fallen in love with the west coast vibe, so I think Seattle or Portland but then I think gloom and rain - two things I hate. Plus I know no one there. Then I think Colorado where my cousins are but I hate Winter. And then I think Austin - where I just was and where my cousin is living and thriving like so many other people and businesses that are flocking there. And that starts to feel right - the idea of Austin, Texas.

So at this stage all I can do is put it out into the universe and trust that, like it has in SO many other instances for me, the chips will fall as they are meant to. I'm going to start on some research of Austin while I continue to "date" SF and Portland each time I'm there for work. And I'm going to trust that my next move will soon become very clear to me and all I really need to do is remain open and trust my instincts.