pondering the next chapter

When I consider the theme of this entire blog - transition and change - I ask myself, aren't you ready to be "done" with change?! After all the significant life events that I've moved through over the last (nearly) five years are more than most people go through in a decade. Moving across the country and starting over, suffering an untimely death of the most meaningful person to me, my mom, making my way through the journey of grief, changing careers, launching a business, adopting a dog (my 4 legged child), and surviving those first two years of that business. It's a lot.

But as I've come to learn life really is about the journey vs the destination and this is all part of the journey. And while I am ready to feel settled in the sense that I'm complete and know that I don't have to put upon myself any significant changes, I can't help but wonder if I'm there yet. I consider myself pretty self aware and given what I do for a living I'm always stepping outside of myself and asking similar questions that I would ask of someone I'm coaching - things that cause pause and require reflection while also checking-in with yourself. I find it incredibly insightful to do this when things are seemingly great in your life and also when things don't seem so great. It's important to know what's driving all those feelings and most importantly what may need to change in order to be more in line with who you are and what you want.

So I did one of my favorite, simple exercises which is asking myself on a scale of 1-10 where am I on overall happiness and containment - two things I always strive to have. And then I like to say two follow up questions: what would it take to move me from that number to a 10 (or to stay at a 10) and what would have to happen for me to drop below a 5 or below the number I'm currently at? Both pieces are important to understand where you may need to make some changes.

So I put myself at a 8 or a 9 right now - life is damn good. I really can't complain. But when I list the things that could bump that to a 10 I can't help but ask myself if Los Angeles is the place to get me there. It's crazy to even write that as because I think evident in this blog or to anyone who knows me I've been nothing short of completely in love with this place since I arrive in 2009. But I'm also realizing when I arrived I was lost - and then I became even more lost but circumstances I couldn't control (the grief over my mom) and now, five years later I feel I've been found. Los Angeles will always be the place where I battled back, where I rebuilt myself and where I got to a place where I'm a 9 out of 10 on a happiness scale. For all those reasons and more LA will always be near and dear to my heart. But there are aspects of LA given how large and spread out it is, how different (and bizarre) the dating scene is and how unlike any other city it's been for me to generate any degree of advertising agency coaching business with, that does cause me to question.

If life is about the journey and at this stage in my journey I finally arrived I can't help but ponder where the next chapter is meant to take place. Not knowing the answer - all I can do is say what feels right - some place smaller and more intimate and community like but still near a major airport and desirable to all the cities my business is growing (mostly west coast), ideally near a beach as I find that so very tranquil, dog friendly and weather that's conducive to being outside all year round and ideally a place where I can meet a nice fella who's ready to take the next step in a relationship - whatever that is, just not a 40 year old only interested in dating a 24 year old :)

So we shall see what this all means as for now it's just a blog post with a little baby seedling of a thought (though as this blog illustrates, once I get a seed it typically blossoms to a full blown flower). And hopefully this too inspires you to ask yourself - how happy are you? And what would make you happier? Because it's about knowing that and setting the course for change vs waiting for chance to bring you what you want.