some things are bittersweet

I've just returned back to LA from my first visit home since losing my Mom. And yes, it was bittersweet. It was SO incredible to spend time with my family, I'm reminded of the strength I feel when I'm around them...especially my incredible nieces and nephews. And being in my parent's home was certainly hard at times but also so very comforting. I felt surrounded by my mom and I enjoyed using her kitchen and trying to make her proud by cooking up some of her best recipes. But the good moments are typically followed by the difficult ones like having to empty out closets full of her clothes. I took my time looking at each piece and remembering it fondly but it just absolutely killed me to fold it up and put it into a bag to be given away. I waited until my last day to do it and luckily Dad is going to handle the dropping of the bags--I just can't do it. I did put aside some special items and took some things with me...I guess at the end of the day, memories live in our heart, not in objects or clothes. I'm just still trying to swallow that thought.

So all in all I guess I can say I faced some of my fears and tried to conquer them. And now as I return back to LA I feel once again that the future lies ahead and it's mine to define. So as a new month kicks off tomorrow, I plan to do just that. Not exactly sure how yet but I'm gonna make some things happen this summer. Stay tuned :)

And to close, some pics from the last week of my visit--great memories, thanks all. I love you.