looking for the sign

WOW, just when I needed some reassurance that I'm not a total hack for taking this time off from work and that I WILL land something when the time is right, I get this horoscope today:

Think of your recent misfortune as an auspicious sign -- if you hadn't hit this bump and just carried on as usual, it almost certainly would have exploded in your face at exactly the wrong time! As it stands, you have plenty of time to fix whatever isn't working and get yourself back in the game. Be grateful for this down time -- at least it gives you a chance to take care of business with somewhat less pressure.

For whatever reason, last night and today I haven't been able to shake myself from sadness. Thinking about my mom A LOT, and am still struck by the thought of finality. It's like the good days carry you for a bit and then you pause and realize what happened and it hits ya all over again. And as my birthday looms near, I fear even more how sad I'll be to not have mom's card be the first I get in the mail and I won't get to hear her voice early in the morning when she would call me. 5 months later and it's still way too much to swallow.

So as I continue to work through this, I'm also trying to focus on what I want to do next with my life. I'm feeling the need for change as it relates to work, but am also stressing about money. I keep telling myself it will all work out the way it should, when it should--it always has. And I have to hope with mom up there pulling strings for me, it will work out even better.

All we can do is hope and believe, right?!