a trip to the nail salon

So of course as I'm a start up business still supplementing my income w/ my diminishing savings account things like getting my nails painted should be one of the top things that goes off the list under my new life circumstances. But for some reason i haven't been able to part with that special treat -- i go far less but i still go. And so today I went in for a mani/pedi and I happen to have forgot my phone so I actually was just there in the salon left to my own thoughts vs being engrossed in the goings-ons of my social network. I heard the song "I Hope You'll Dance" come on and thought of my niece and at one point Lisa talking about how that song makes her think of Margaret and how maybe some day she'd read the words to her like my mom did for me with Forever Young. Then I started thinking about my mom. And I realized, much like many things in our lives, habits are formed from things we experience at a very young age. And while we may not even realize it, those habits can carry meaning. And I realized, growing up my Mom always loved to get her nails done -- they had to be just so. So for as long as I can remember I would go w/ her when I was little and as I got older it was my special treat when things like bat mitzvahs and weddings started to pop up in my life. And then eventually it's a habit I took on as I had my own income and even though i was poor as dirt living in NYC, I always found $20 to treat myself to a mani/pedi. It made me think of my mom. And now, today, as I was sitting in the "spa chair" I connected all of this. And I looked at my hand as the woman was rubbing the cream on it and I noticed that my hands sure enough are starting to look wrinkled. I mean not a ton but I realized that I'm creeping along here and the signs are showing. But then I was suddenly taken back to a moment in the hospital when i was holding my mom's hand for the very last time as we were saying our goodbyes and i remember looking at her hand, kissing it and holding it thinking i'll never ever get to do this again. And as I'm sitting in the nail salon my eyes are welling up with tears as I found myself overcome w/ emotion. I had to re-route my thoughts or else I would've been a hot mess to this poor woman trying to "massage" my hands. So instead I thought happy things about my mom and how I was glad on the weekend when everyone is celebrating mother's day I was doing something that she loved and we loved to do together. And I though when I go get my groceries I'm going to also pick up fresh flowers -- something I never do now b/c of money -- but something my mom always did and loved. So just as my mind started to calm itself and I was now at the final stage of my manicure--the nail polish part--onto the radio came Forever Young. I was floored by the timing of it all and couldn't help but smile. Somehow, just for a moment as I was having my nails painted, listening to Forever Young and thinking of my mom it was like she was right there with me and it felt amazing. xoxo