Here I am midway through another week. Just in from enjoying dinner with my friend Beth who's in town for work from Philadelphia, 6 months pregnant and looking incredible. This week is much more manageable from a work standpoint, thank god. I've even managed to fit in some fun stuff like picking out birthday presents for two of my awesome nieces born this month, Erin (20, can you believe it?!) and littlest Sophie who's turning 6! So while I hate that I'm not there to give them their gifts I do enjoy shopping for them and getting to pack up fun packages for them to receive in the mail. I found the most adorable outfit for Sophie and I know my mom would LOVE it--it's so hard to not have her to call and tell all the little things.
It's interesting b/c we're conditioned to think and believe time passes, things get better or "easier" but instead i'm finding my struggle increasing as time passes. The sense of permanence is becoming more and more evident and I in turn miss my mom and best friend that much more. She was my person. In our family and all growing up, it was me+mom and dad+the boys. It's so incredibly hard to think of the family without my mom and my life with out her. I still have these moments where I get a "flash" and realize she's really gone. It's still shocking, it still hits me in the gut, it still sucks. And I know that won't change any time soon so trying to accept that for what it is and keep "moving through." I guess that's all I can do.
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